Time, and Happy Birthday

Six weeks and two days ago our daughter Elizabeth was born. I have since discovered just how much of one's time a newborn consumes. So this is something of an apology of sorts, an apology for the time taken between posts. Having said that I in no way begrudge her the time, I wouldn't have it any other way. Be warned, however, that it is likely that service here will be a tad infrequent and irregular, at least for a few weeks more.

As it turns out caring for a newborn, while being a pretty miraculous thing, does descend into a repeating pattern of feeding, burping, jiggling, cleaning poo, and catching what rest you can between the above. It's a kind of Groundhog Day of fatigue. Luckily we're able to do it together. I have a new found respect for solo parents and parents in multiple-birth families. Even acting as a team as we are it is bloody exhausting, and we're only wrangling one baby between us.

So here's a quick summary of the first six weeks of parenting. Baby was great for the first few days, she slept for quite long periods of time between feeds, and aside from her exports being a bit sticky nappy changing wasn't especially unpleasant. By the end of the first week sleep was becoming a more precious commodity, with unsettled nights causing substantial disruption, particularly for Julie. Luckily I was able to sleep more throughout the night, and while she was caring for Elizabeth I was caring for her. Then I had to go back to work. Suffice it to say that I've had a couple of days off since then, mainly to recover from sleepless nights and accumulated sleep debt. Thanks very much to my employer for being so understanding, not only for allowing the occasional daddy day, but also for putting up with my reduced efficiency while at work.

After the first week pooing became much more frequent and a good deal more runny. We have only had one really major poo explosion, where the nappy provided insufficient cover and absorption, and that required an entire clothing change, and a new blanket to boot. I have no idea where it all came from. Luckily this has settled down after six weeks, and she's now no longer needing a change after every feed. Thank goodness.

Elizabeth is eating like a trooper, and growing very nicely. She's put on 1.2 kg and is apparently tall for her age. Whether that is a predictor of future height remains to be seem, but we're relieved she is happy, healthy and well-fed. She's also a very good wee babe, doesn't really cry unless she actually needs feeding or burping, and has settled into a pretty good routine. She had her first inoculations on Friday and, while she cried a bit when she was jabbed with the needle, after a minute or two of daddy cuddles she calmed right down and went back to sleep. Needless to say we are relieved that she is such a relaxed and trouble free little girl. Long may it continue.

So happy six week birthday Elizabeth. One day when you read this know that your Mum and Dad love you very much, and we are doing everything in our power to make sure you are well cared for and well loved.

New life and new beginnings

I say above that I am going to blog, at least in part, about the joys and demands of new fatherhood. Well, I am now in the position to start doing just this, because on June 30th at 3:20am my wife Julie delivered a beautiful baby girl, Elizabeth Rose. We couldn't be happier. For those who haven't seen the myriad pics on Facebook here she is with her very proud dad:

I guess the overwhelming emotion on the roller-coaster during the delivery was one of helplessness and impotence. Obviously I was excited and anxious, but really all I could do was stand by Julie, hold her hand through each contraction, support her and tell her what an amazing job she was doing. I was incredibly proud of her throughout the labour, and sharing this experience has brought us even closer together, something which those who know us well will probably find difficult to believe :) But in reality she was the one doing all the hard work, and experiencing the pain, discomfort and fatigue. While I wouldn't have missed it for the world, I still felt pretty useless, although I like to think that my support helped at least in some small way. It was a truly amazing and miraculous experience.

I know a few of my friends have talked about bonding with their newborns, and how this can sometimes take a little while, because the emphasis is usually on bonding between mum and baby. For reasons I won't go in to, following the delivery I was fortunate to be able to spend some time doing the skin-to-skin thing with our new baby, so in my case this bonding happened very early on. And wee Elizabeth seems to really enjoy dad cuddles, when she is being a bit grizzly a few minutes in dad's embrace seems to help soothe her. She is lovely to cuddle, really warm and soft and snuggly, and she makes the cutest little noises when she is feeling warm and contented.

So far being a dad is really rather enjoyable. I don't even mind changing dirty nappies, something I'd always kind of dreaded in the build-up to the delivery. Sure, for the first few days the poo is kinda nasty and sticky, but it doesn't take long before it starts to become less unpleasant. And having had pets for a number of years I've become used to cleaning up the odd mess. At least baby's poo is (usually) contained within a nappy. I have made one basic noobie error during changing, one which I trust will elicit some amusement for you. I cleaned Elizabeth's bottom and then picked her up to give her a wee cuddle before putting her clean nappy on. Of course she did the unexpected and promptly produced a second poo, all over my hand and t-shirt. I was initially stunned and a little horrified but, once I'd cleaned up, Julie and I had a bloody good laugh about it. So new dads, here's a tip for you - NEVER pick up your newborn without a nappy securely in place :)

There is one more challenging aspect to having a newborn, something which I'm sure fellow dads will sympathise with, and that is breast-feeding. Elizabeth can be a little fussy at times, and doesn't always latch on and feed well. This can be pretty frustrating, especially in the wee small hours when we're tired and she is crying up a storm. Once again I experience the same feelings of helplessness and impotence as during labour. I really want to help and get her feeding sorted, but there really isn't anything I can do. Our midwife assures us that we're doing everything right, but that in the early stages both mum and baby are learning how to make it work and we just have to persevere and be patient. Apparently by this time next week we'll look back and wonder what the hell we were worried about. That's nice to know, and intellectually one can take it on board, but at times it isn't easy. I think it might be a man-trait that makes us want to fix things, to find and offer solutions to problems rather than just sit and be supportive and comforting. It is this inability to rectify some situations which I find most challenging. Mostly, however, being a dad is a truly joyous experience.

One thing we've noticed is that Elizabeth seems to pick up our mental state and reacts to it, because when we are feeling a bit less certain about how things are going she seems to fuss more. As Julie said, even if you don't realise it you probably are a bit stressed so, if you can, take a few minutes for yourself and try to relax a bit.

Last, but by no means least, I'd like to extend my heartfelt thanks to our widwives and to the staff at Christchurch Women's Hospital. The quality of care we received was outstanding, and it was dispensed with a great deal of competence and professionalism. You made what was a potentially very scary and uncertain time much less intimidating for us. Thank you so very much.

On imminent fatherhood and the generosity of good friends...

One of the core subjects about which I intend to ramble on here is the adventure of becoming a dad for the first time, so I should probably set the scene a little more comprehensively. 

My lovely wife Julie and I are expecting our first child some time around the end of this month. At our second scan (around 20 weeks in) we were informed that it was 90% likely that we were having a wee girl. I'm not especially bothered about the gender of our little Peanut, so named because when we found out we had achieved some measure of success in our quest to start a family the cluster of cells destined to be our baby was only the size of a peanut. The name kinda stuck. As long as Peanut is happy and healthy I'll be content, although I'd not be completely honest if I didn't admit that in the early stages I was convinced that we were having a son. I think all blokes want a son, possibly in some archaic caveman desire to teach him how to use power tools, how to kick a rugby ball, how to fish, and do all those other manly things. The reality is, though, that I'm still looking forward to teaching my daughter how to do all those things. Plus, given our slightly nerdy predilections, she is probably going to grow up as a bit of a geek, albeit one that can wield a fearsome cricket bat :)

The odd thing about being expectant parents is that it seems to give friends, family and sometimes complete strangers carte blanche to share all their gruesome stories and experiences about birth, poos, vomit, and so on. It is as if they take a perverse delight in frightening you when it is too late for you to do anything other than grin and bear it. It all seems to be pretty good natured stuff though, and we've had plenty of laughs, tempered occasionally with trepidation, fear and disbelief. I've also heard that it isn't uncommon for little old ladies to approach heavily pregnant women in the supermarket and rub their bellies approvingly, although so far this hasn't happened to my wife. Mind you I've had a big tummy for years, and no complete stranger has approached me for a belly rub either, so perhaps reports of this behaviour are grossly exaggerated.

The other really gratifying aspect of impending parenthood is the incredible generosity of those who have already travelled down this road. People have not only been free with their horror stories, but also with advice, offers of assistance, and vast quantities of baby gear. I think we probably have enough clothes and other bits and pieces for several Peanuts, although I'm assured that babies are pretty good at getting their clothes dirty, especially during a poo explosion. 

So I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all the folk who have been so generous, be it with gifts of clothes and other baby gear, or with offers of support. We both really appreciate your generosity, and you've helped smooth the road untravelled. Becoming a parent is a scary thing to contemplate, and we are very fortunate to have such awesome family and friends. Thank you.

And so it begins...

Subtitle: The one where the scene is set.

 

Welcome to my blog. It took me a long while to make up my mind about starting a blog. At first I thought that it would be a waste of my time, and that nobody would really care what I have to say about stuff. But then I got to thinking, well, why shouldn't I? After all, I'm moderately intelligent and have 44 years of life experience on our little ball of rock swinging gracefully around our star, so I might, on occasion, make an observation which enlightens or entertains.

Who am I? Well, I live in New Zealand, home to hobbits, sheep, adventure tourists, and the occasional nerd like me. I'm a big fan of my home country, but there are things going on here which variously amaze, annoy and dumbfound me. At the time of writing my wife and I are about to become parents for the first time, with our baby daughter due around the end of June. This is an adventure soaked in anticipation and trepidation, and is undoubtedly something I will be discussing at some length here. That'll be fun, I hear you say :)

No doubt a reasonably common theme here will be my disenfranchisement with politicians at both central and local government levels. Occasionally I will rail for or against issues about which I am passionate, and I make no apologies for embracing my leftist leanings. I am also, as my brief bio suggests, a science and IT geek, and the content here will reflect that. Expect posts about cool sciency stuff, especially the life sciences and astronomy, interspersed with comments about things IT with a bit of gaming thrown in for good measure.

By far and away my favourite sport is the noble game of cricket. I love the swings in fortune during test matches, and the little defining moments which can change a game. I don't mind the shorter versions, but for me test cricket will always be the purest form of the game. Like many kiwis I am interested in rugby, but not with the fervour demonstrated by a number of my fellow countrymen, so it won't be high on my list of topics.

Settle in folks, sit down, put your feet up and make yourselves at home. This blog will likely be a bit of a mixed bag; I intend to touch on a number of topics which interest me, as stated above. With a bit of luck I will find the time to post with reasonable frequency, but as the aphorism goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I make no excuses if when our baby comes I drop out of the loop a bit, I expect this to be a pretty busy time.

Note also that this blog is a bit of a work in progress, so expect  things to evolve over time as I tweak things a bit. Cheers!